


Get Lost And Then Get Found

by Thestorans



Series: The Aftermath [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Niall, Deaths, Depressed Harry, Fighting, Fingering, Hurt Niall, M/M, Narry children, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Protective Harry, Riding, Sad Harry, Sad Niall, Smut, Soldier Ed Sheeran, Soldier Harry, Soldier Liam, Soldier Louis, Soldier Zayn, Storan Family, Top Harry, Trouble In Paradise, Violence, World War II, anger problems, army fic, family au, long fic, series fic, the other three boys aren't in the story yet still, they will be tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 08:36:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6367120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thestorans/pseuds/Thestorans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's weird mood swing had sent the blond into extreme worry for his safety. And Niall thought the opposite would happen when Harry would come home, that he'd feel safety and security for both his children and himself. But right then and there, when Harry's fist hit the table and his booming voice rose above the happy atmosphere, sending them all into forced submission. Right there Niall had wanted to protect his children from Harry, from that stranger. And tears welled up in his eyes, he didn't like that feeling, he hated it, it was the worst thing ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get Lost And Then Get Found

**Author's Note:**

> Here's part two to The Aftermath series! This took a lot of work and a lot of writers block ha...so give me some comments at the end? I'd love to know if you all would want me to continue onto a part 3!
> 
> (Seriously listen to Swallowed In The Sea by Coldplay if you haven't yet for this series, it's an inspirational song towards my writing to this)

It was a windier day, the trees creaked and blew in the backyard as Niall watched from the kitchen. Harry was in the back also, cutting wood with an old worn-out jacket he had, it had rips at the sides, and it was getting too small for his new fit form as it rid past his hips showing his v-lines. The blond reminded himself to go downtown to get another one made. 

It has been four days since Harry has been home, and the Styles family has never been more alive. Dinner's are full of conversations-that has nothing to do with war-Harry has been playing with them all equally and slowly getting to know them. And it's a beautiful thing to wake up to every morning, to look at his husbands perfect cheekbones, round nose, light brown eyelashes that pepper across his under-eye. Those curly locks that are perfect ringlets to curl his finger around and play with until Harry would wake up and those green eyes would be brighter then ever. The sun used to wake Niall up, but now it was Harry. 

The said man looked up suddenly, but Harry wasn't staring at Niall, just looking down in amusement at Lawrence who was playfully chasing after Thomas. It warmed Niall's heart, seeing his family with smiles on their faces. Even Harry, who he thought would be nothing but a reck, was smiling ear to ear, the little dips in the side of his mouth called dimples shone in the gloomy, cold atmosphere. 

"Daddy, Virginia bit me!"James came rushing into the kitchen, and Niall had no time to react before the little one was climbing onto his lap, accidentally kneeing him in the groin making him groan.

"Bit you? Where?" Niall forced himself to look away from the backyard, staring down at James who was pouting up at him, tears threatening to fall. He was holding his hand, and Niall grabbed at it, brushing off the other one that was trying to hide it. And there it was, the indent of teeth against his skin, it slightly bleeding, and there was probably going to be bruising. 

"Virginia Styles!" Niall yelled out, he took James off his lap and set him down on the chair he used to sit on. The blond rushed up the hallway and up the stairs, calling Virginia's name over and over again but got no answer or sound that she was running away from him. And he started to worry, usually she would simply hide like James did, but he looked under the bed, in the closet, and there was no doors closed being a sign she locked herself in a room. 

He walked back down the stairs, stomping back into the kitchen. James was still whining, holding his hand. The blond was about to call Virginia's name again when he saw a glimpse of a dress running across the backyard. And he furrowed his brows in anger.

"Virginia!" He swung the back door opened, seeing the little girl holding onto Harry's leg, trying to hide from him. Harry looked confused, chuckling as he pat at Virginia's head, one hand combing his fingers through her tangled curly hair, the other still holding the axe from cutting the wood. 

"Time-out, now." Niall crossed his arms over his chest, raising one brow in impatience noticing she wasn't making a move towards the house. James was pretty bad at being good, but at least he willingly did the walk-of-shame towards the time-out chair. But Virginia would most of the time have to be carried or dragged to it. 

"What did she do?" Harry asked. Virginia was sobbing, stomping her feet and shaking her head, her lip hung forward in a large pout as she stared at Niall through her lashes. Niall was getting really frustrated. 

"She bit James, and he's bleeding. When they misbehave they go on the time-out chair." Niall started walking over to Virginia, and she started screaming 'no' but Niall was used to this, used to Virginia acting like it was going to be the end of the world if she had to be put in the chair for a few minutes. 

"Woah, woah, woah, stop screaming. Niall let me take care of her, please I had my rest for the past couple days, now it's your turn." Harry gave Niall a look, and the blond didn't really know if he should be angry, offended, or relieved. But he took in a deep breath, flickering a glare down at Virginia before walking back into the house. 

"Are you okay Daddy?" James asked from the kitchen table as Niall grabbed for some ice in the ice box, scooping some of it up and then putting it in a tablecloth. He then wrapped the ice up and gave it to James. "I'm fine, just keep that on your hand until you feel you can take it off. Remember don't keep the ice on the table or it will melt and ruin the wood." James nodded, and then Niall was off back up the stairs. 

He didn't really know what to do with himself, he was just pacing in their bedroom, biting at his fingernails. He would take quick glimpses outside and curse under his breath in confusion seeing that Harry had let Virginia go and she was now giggling playing around with Thomas and Lawrence. That wasn't discipline. 

He could feel anger consuming him again, and he had to take another deep breath before he started walking back downstairs to yell at Harry. His husband just simply didn't know what Niall did when the kids were being bad, he slept in bunkers with men all around him for six years, there was no children. Niall had to keep reminding himself that. 

But he refused to sit up in the room all day, sure Harry told him to relax, but it was hard doing that. His instinct was to clean and be a parent. Not be a lump all day. So he decided that going to the grocery store downtown would be the best thing to do, first to clear his mind, and second so he had an excuse to not be lazy all day. And Harry will surely thank him later, they needed condoms anyways. 

He realized that no one else was in the house, James must've went outside, so he grabbed a coat and shuffled on his shoes before walking outside towards the car. He looked behind him, seeing that Harry was now dog-piled on top of by all the kids, freshly cut wood stacked beside the stump he cut them on. Sure the blond was mad, but this was all knew to him, this was like the first time he met Harry all over again, but this time it more felt like the curly lad was a distant memory that got reborn. Like he had come from the dead and resurrected himself back into Niall's heart and life. 

He turned on the car, letting it slowly roar to life, and Harry looked up from being squished. And he was quickly rushing over, and he looked really worried. 

"Where are you going love? You okay?" Harry asked immediately when Niall rolled down the window to the car. And Niall couldn't help but chuckle, shaking his head. But Harry's facial expression never changed, and the blond's smile faltered. 

"I'm just heading out to get some things from downtown. Haven't been there in a while for reasons you already know. And you said I could rest, so this is me resting." Harry didn't look like he believed what Niall was saying, and the kids were starting to call for him to come back over. 

"I don't want anyone hurting your feelings though or calling your names. I'm back now and I'm gonna make sure no one-" 

"Harry," Niall moved one hand off the steering wheel to pet at Harry's stubble, which gave him the reminder to buy a razor for the curly lad. "I'll be fine, the war is over, the worst people could say or ask me is what Ronald did last at church a couple days ago." 

"Yeah, what will you say? What if they ask you what it was like? What it felt like? What you saw? Niall turn off the car I don't think you should go." Harry leaned down so his face was close to Niall's, and the blond was still caressing at his cheek. 

"Please, Harry let me go okay? I'll only be an hour or so. I promise." Niall gave Harry a light kiss on the lips, so delicate they barely touched, and Harry kept his lips pursed, lingering for a deeper kiss. 

"No longer." Harry sighed out. He pushed off the car, straightening himself and patting the top. Niall gave his husband a grateful smile, blew Harry a kiss and then pulled off the driveway and drove downtown. 

 

He pulled over on the side of the road right downtown. Seeing people walking up and down the sidewalk, cars like his lined along the side of the road also. Everyone was getting things for their special soldiers, grabbing fancy food for celebration feasts. It was nice to know that everyone was happy around him, it was like the whole country of Great Britain was beaming with happiness with the feeling of their soldiers finally in their homeland. 

He grabbed at one of the fabric grocery bags in the trunk, stored in their for days like today where he went shopping. It was getting better outside, the sun was peaking out from the clouds as he moved down the line of stores until he got to a variety store. He got inside, going straight to the back to find the condoms, noticing that there was still a full pack stocked on the rack. It wasn't surprising, with husbands finally back, most of the couples probably wanted to have as much kids as possible until another thing separates them. After World War One everyone thought it was "the war to end all wars" but look where they are now. So no one trusts anything, the government even. Every damned government in the world is struggling to hold down their people. 

He got to the cash register with four packs of condoms, grabbing a carton of milk so it didn't look too weird going up with just those. But the man behind the counter still raised a brow, looking the blond up and down once before quickly cashing the items in, telling Niall the price, and then receiving the money. 

Niall almost ran out the store in embarrassment. Once again, he wasn't used to doing these things. There was nothing close to a dick up his arse for years, there was no condoms needed.

Next was the sewing shop he went to all the time, it just across the road at the corner. He knew the women there since he had taken classes there at the start when he first found out he was having James, him wanting to make cute outfits for the new baby, since money was getting scarce because of the big lay-off Harry got at the factory that he used to work at. People were laying off jobs left and right, the great depression was one of the worst things Niall has ever felt, and they had Lawrence and Thomas at the time, so four mouths to feed. It was unexplainable what they had felt like for those couple of years, having three different kinds of food on their plate and three spoon-fulls was a luxury. It was usually just bread and a cup of soup. 

He opened the door to the shop, the bell ringing above him. The women all looked up and all immediately brightened noticing it was Niall. 

"Niall? Niall Styles, god I can't remember the last time I saw you! " The women at the front desk yelled, getting up from her seat. Her name was Margaret, a loud and bulky woman, but the kindest heart. During the great depression, she really saved him a lot of money by helping him learn how to make clothes. 

"Margaret! Hello, nice to see you finally." He gave her a smile, and she gave him an even bigger one, suddenly tugging him into a hug making him almost lose his breath. 

"You need to tell me everything! How is Harry? How's the kids? Good god I thought you had really gone off to war!" She pulled him over towards the front desk, and sat him down where she used to sit. The other good thing about the lady was that she didn't care that he was gay and understood why he couldn't become a soldier. She was one of the very few people that actually got his personal life. 

"It's a little hard right now, Harry's still learning the new ways of our household, but the kids already adore him." Niall smiled up at Margaret, who's own smile was never faltering. She was fully interested in him, eyes wide looking down at him. 

"Well I'm sure you two will be diamonds soon, just let him get everything to sink in." She waved her hand at him, shrugging his answer off. And he believed her completely, by a couple months everything will be back to normal. Harry will be less protective of him and the children, and he'll know all the rules in the household. The key to all this, was patience. 

"But I'm sure it's good to get the stress off, right? Good lord you must've been dragging your feet by the time he finally got back. You still look exhausted." She shook her head at him, taking her hands and rubbing them up and down his arms in comfort. Niall appreciated it, he felt like he was finally breathing again, resurfaced from the water he was drowning in. 

"I'm more then happy, this is me resting right now actually. Harry's taking care of the kids today." Margaret gave Niall a look, which was similar to Harry's when the blond had said that this was him 'resting' which was the complete opposite. But she didn't question it, because she must relate slightly to what he was saying, every women-or in his case man-couldn't really rest properly. They had the cleaning, cooking, and shopping to do. It was never ending. 

"What can I do for you then darling?" She leaned against her desk. 

"Harry needs a new coat, the one you made for him a while back is torn up and too small for him." She chuckled and shook her head, pushing off the desk to disappear into the back of her shop, reappearing a few seconds later. 

"Gosh, I don't even remember the last time I made you something. Especially Harry, but I can't complain, I do love your company." Niall smiled, acknowledging her kind words as she scrambled through her drawers for fabrics and other tools Niall didn't know the name of. 

"When do you think it will be done?" Niall followed Margaret through the shop, her hands filled with many supplies, then she dumped everything on another desk by her sewing kit. 

"Well it's a jacket, you don't remember the length of time? Am I that bad of a teacher?" She sat herself down at the desk, the women around them was back to doing their own thing, and there was a light chatter in the air. It was such a calm and peaceful atmosphere, it made the blond regret stopping from coming there. 

"I promise you aren't. I'm just a horrible listener. I'm good at having kids, cleaning, and cooking. That's about it." Niall shrugged and watched Margaret side-eye him in disappointment. She never liked when he degraded himself like that, in general when anyone turned themselves down, she was there to pick them back up. 

"You're a handsome, smart, human being. You're married with four beautiful children and I think that's way more accomplishments then you think." She poked at his arm and gave him a sly smile and then immediately focused on making his jacket. The blond watched in fascination for a minute or so, hands clasped behind his back still holding the bag he got from the store. He enjoyed how soothing it looked watching her fingers dance along the fabrics, knowing it would turn into something beautiful and useful. It was magical to Niall. 

"It takes about a month or so. I need to get the insolation in for you so your little hunk doesn't catch a cold. But it will be done, you know I keep my promises." And then, after she gave him one last reassuring smile and he handed her some money, he was back off into the downtown streets. Making a mental note to start up sewing again, maybe make Virginia a new church dress. 

 

He pulled into the driveway of his home, seeing that no one was outside anymore, and rain clouds were floating overhead, daring to drench him. So he quickly turned the car off and ran inside, and as soon as the door closed, he immediately heard padded feet rushing upstairs and then down the steps and jumping into his arms, making him drop the bag. 

"Good lord, I always seem to forget how heavy you are getting, Virginia." Niall chuckled out, kissing his daughters temple and brushing her curly locks away from her face. She looked like she did thirty laps around the house, she was panting, her face red and eyes wide. 

"What have you been doing? Where's your father?" Niall could hear many other footsteps from upstairs, and soon James, Thomas, and Lawrence were barreling down the stairs, bumping into each other like pinballs until they all were engulfing him in a hug all together. The blond couldn't help but feel breathless at the tight squeeze all three of his sons were giving him at once, and could only let out a breathless laugh, patting at Lawrence's head that was the closest. 

"Don't kill daddy before he can even get in the door! You can do it later, shoo!" Harry's joking voice boomed from upstairs, and Niall whipped his head up in surprise, immediately smiling at his husband who also looked like he did a marathon as he slowly walked down the steps. All four of the kids ran off at Harry's words, all giggling and playfully bumping into each other until they disappeared into the living room. 

"I thought you would never come home." Harry sighed out, walking over and placing his hands on Niall's hips, rubbing his thumbs into the blonds hipbones making Niall sigh in delight at the familiar touch. 

"I could say the same. But look who I'm looking at now?" Harry let out a chuckle at that, leaning down and capturing Niall's lips onto his. It was long and Niall's hands moved to Harry's biceps, rubbing them up and down until they had to pull away at a scream/giggle that roared throughout the house. Probably the kids rough-housing. 

"Have they been like this all day?" Niall asked, cringing at another scream that cut through the air as James ran back into the hallway, being chased by Thomas. 

"Pretty much, but it's complete heaven to me. I've seen so much sadness and tears in the past six years, it's amazing to see happiness again. I honestly thought a smile would never exist again during that war." Harry was pulling himself into a dark place, Niall could see it on his husbands face as the curly lads amused smile slowly faltered into a frown. It wasn't right, it felt wrong to see the love of his life look so sad when he was finally home. 

The blond grabbed at Harry's chin, lightly moving him back so he was now looking at him again. They locked gazes, and there was Harry's happy place, and the curly lad immediately smiled on again. His universe was restored. 

"No more war talk. Remember? We live in the present-"

"And not the past." Harry finished, making Niall grin and lean forward so his forehead was rested between his husbands collarbones. Right under Harry's chin. It was a perfect slot, and Harry just simply settled his chin on top of his blond husbands head. A moment of silence falling over them, blocking out the screams, laughs, and fast-footed feet against the wood floor. 

A minute later, they were ripped apart by James who had squeezed himself between them to run back up the stairs. And Niall let out a small screech as the little one giggled and almost tripped up the steps as he looked back over his shoulder to see Virginia hot on his trail. 

"Careful! You're lucky Daddy is tired or I'd be after you all in seconds. But don't think I'm being nice, push your luck any further and all of you will be on time-out!" Niall yelled out above the playful noise. He hoped the kids would hear him, but he was guessing they didn't, and frowned. But Harry seemed to be enjoying it, a wide smile across his face as he looked down at Niall, hands still on the blonds hips. 

"How about we occupy ourselves by making dinner? Have it early so we can go for a quick walk before everything settles down for the night." Niall liked that idea, and took one last glance up the stairs before he let Harry grab his hands and lightly tug him into the kitchen. 

 

They sat at the dinner table, and it was calm, just the sound of the steal knives and forks clinking together as everyone ate. It was just the second time ever since they were eating as a whole family, and Niall was still dazed in his happiness. He ate slowly, chewing carefully as he moved his gaze from each child, and then permanently landing it on his husband across the table from him, whose ankle was locked with his under it. 

"Virginia stop kicking me under the table!" Thomas grumbled all of a sudden, and it really didn't faze anyone, it was the normal outburst once in a while around the table. Someone brushes a foot and the other freaks out just because they want to. Or it's stealing food off plates or spilling drinks or dropping food onto the floor. And tonight was one of the days, sadly. 

"Thomas please, your sister did that by accident. Virginia say sorry dumpling." Niall barely looked up from his dinner, blinking down at it and stabbing some chicken to place in his mouth and chew, once again, thoughtfully. 

"I'm sorry," Virginia mumbled, pouting down at her plate. But after that it didn't get any better, and it was the total opposite of tension between the kids. Now everyone was giggling again, James wiggling and jumping in his chair as Lawrence made funny faces. He even grabbed food and started putting it on his face, making James explode in a giggle fit. And Niall couldn't help but let out a little chuckle, hand coming out to place on Lawrence's shoulder for a warning to stop, but everyone flinched roughly when a sudden hand came slamming down on the table, shaking it and making Niall's water fall down and spill onto the ground and Virginia's fork and knife to fall also. 

Everyone was still, and Niall was staring at Harry with wide, scared eyes. He didn't see that coming, at all. One second they're having a fun dinner, the kids laughing like never before. And Niall thought Harry would be the last person to lose his cool over the fact that they were being disrespectful at the table. And Niall had even thought to let it slide, but now look where it's gotten him. 

"Do not play with food at the table. Eat properly, for god sakes." Harry spat that out so viciously. It made Niall stiffen and he was scared to move from his chair, Virginia even whimpered. Lawrence was sitting stock straight, eyes wide and mouth slightly opened in shock at his fathers outburst. 

"Harry." Niall said, and he didn't say anything else. His voice was shaky, and his hands were frozen still in a reach to grab for Lawrence. He was suddenly protective of his children, even though it was the kids other father across the table from him, Harry felt like a stranger for a couple minutes. 

"Sorry, sorry uh. If I may excuse myself from dinner. I'm going to go to the washroom, clean myself up before bed." Harry gulped loudly, and he seemed to be blinking back tears, and he even looked a little confused at his own outburst as he slowly got to his feet and rushed out of the room. It was a heart breaking sight, and Niall didn't really know how to react before he heard Virginia whimper again. 

"Daddy, father was scary." She mumbled, and Niall thought he would never hear that come out of his daughters mouth. And he just shushed her, giving her a reassuring smile and picking up her fork and knife, then cleaning up everyone else's dishes, telling the kids to go play outside. 

He tried to occupy himself by cleaning the dishes, but he couldn't think properly. Harry's weird mood swing had sent the blond into extreme worry for his safety. And Niall thought the opposite would happen when Harry would come home, that he'd feel safety and security for both his children and himself. But right then and there, when Harry's fist hit the table and his booming voice rose about the happy atmosphere, sending them all into forced submission. Right there Niall had wanted to protect his children from Harry, from that stranger. And tears welled up in his eyes, he didn't like that feeling, he hated it, it was the worst thing ever. 

And when he wiped at his eyes, calming himself, he decided to go find his husband. 

He found Harry in the washroom still, but he was leaning against the sink, his hair curtained over his face to hide his expression. Niall was still scared, picking at his fingernails as he took a step into the room. He didn't want his husband yelling like that again, like some monster that his family never thought he was. 

"Harry." That's all that could come from Niall's mouth, just his husbands name. He was worried it would be too little to calm Harry, or if he should've used more words to settle him down. But Niall felt his shoulders slump when he saw Harry slowly look around, tears streaming down his face, eyes puffy and red. It was a relieving sight to see his husband not look so raging anymore, but now it was breaking his heart how it looked like Harry's was broken. 

"I gain trust, with the kids. And then-and then I throw it all away by yelling at them like-like that. H-how dare I make them feel unsafe in my own fucking home!" Harry's swear word made Niall jump, and Harry noticed that, his eyes casting down onto the floor, even more sadder. His bottom lip wobbled dangerously, and he moved to sit himself down on the toilet, letting Niall fully get into the washroom and close the door behind him. 

"They still love you babe. Of course they were scared at first and I was too. But you didn't mean to. You came from a very traumatic experience and we need to learn what your comfort zone is." 

Harry chuckled then, and Niall gripped at the front of his own shirt in nervousness. He didn't like Harry right now, how the mans emotions were ranging from crying, to screaming, to laughing sarcastically. He didn't want to admit it, but his husband was acting mental. 

"That's just it though. I don't have a comfort zone, n-nothing can save me from this dark place I'm at and I-I think I need to get some air before I punch something again." But as Harry tried to rush passed Niall to grab for the door, Niall stopped him with a hand to his chest. And the blond almost flinched when Harry's wide, shaking eyes came barreling down at him like some large beacon of light blinding him. The blond could see the sweat coating his husbands skin like a blanket, how his breathing was getting rougher and faster. 

"There is a comfort zone. There is peace somewhere in you, please baby don't take this out of hand. I love you, your kids love you." Niall moved up on his toes to kiss at his husbands cheek, hands coming to wipe at Harry's sweaty forehead. 

"I need to say sorry. Maybe uh, maybe play around with them a bit? We can have a walk some other time." Harry didn't even acknowledge him, just turned the door knob and rushed off down the hallway, down the stairs and out of sight. And Niall just blinked up at his own reflection in the mirror, wondering so many things.

 

He had cleaned himself up after a few minutes of sitting on the toilet with his head in his hands. And when he walked back downstairs, he was met with a beautiful sight out the window. Seeing his husband playing baseball with his children, Lawrence holding the bat in his hands as he yelled at Harry to throw the ball. And when Harry did, Lawrence whacked it into the air, Virginia and James giggling wildly as they would run around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to grab the ball in mid-air. 

So was he just overreacting? Was it just a silly little outburst that wouldn't happen again? Niall was smiling now, he wasn't crying or frowning, it was a good warm feeling in his chest seeing his children laughing as well as his husband. They were perfect again, and this time Niall prayed it would stay like that. 

It was a half hour later when the children came rushing back into the house, spilling into the kitchen with giggles still falling from their mouths. Niall smiled in amusement, he had been sitting at the kitchen table watching through the glass back door ever since he had come down. And he got up when he saw Harry, the man breathing heavily from chasing the kids into the house. 

"Good laugh you all had, didn't you?" Niall chuckled out, hands coming to wrap around Harry's waist and tug the man in. He kissed at Harry's collarbone, and Harry returned a kiss to his temple. 

"What time is it? It's getting dark?" Harry looked over his shoulder to look back outside, seeing the sun going down, the skies all pretty pastel colours. It was a wonderful sunset to end a wonderful day, Niall thought. 

"Around eight. The kids need to get cleaned up and in bed." Niall heard groans of protest behind him, and he just laughed it off, moving out of Harry's embrace to shoo them all up the stairs. Harry followed behind them all, and watched in amusement as everyone was crammed into the bathroom. Then when everyone was done, Virginia, Lawrence, Thomas and James all in bed. He had gotten into the bathroom last, brushing his teeth and washing his face. 

He had just finished spitting into the sink and rinsing his brush, tapping it against he sink before putting it back onto the counter beside everyone else's. Then moving into the bedroom where he shuffled on his pyjama pants and took off his shirt. Niall was already in bed, holding himself up by one elbow as he watched Harry move towards him and crawl into the bed and under the covers. He shut off the light, and then they were consumed in darkness expect for the dim lighting coming from the windows, moonlight illuminating their faces as they stared at each other. 

"Goodnight lo-oh." Harry was cut off when the blond was suddenly straddling him, the sheets were pooled at his waist, only revealing his bare chest. His paleness was vibrant against the evening light, and Harry chuckled with a brow raised at his husband. 

"I think we deserve this. And I uh, I went shopping today for something special." And Niall took a condom from where he was hiding it behind his back, shaking it between his fingers. A cheeky smile was placed across his face, and Harry couldn't help but smile back with his brows raised high along his forehead. 

"Oh really? Aren't I a lucky man tonight." Harry chuckled out cheekily, and he tried to move the covers to get to the blonds waist, but he was smacked away making him pout. 

"The door." Niall mumbled, and Harry had to crane his neck to look, huffing in annoyance when he realized he forgot to shut it. He slumped his head back down against the pillows, sighing loudly and giving Niall a shrug of his shoulders. But Niall just shook his head and rolled his eyes playfully as he got out of bed and oh, the blond was stark naked, walking across the room and closing the door. That pretty perky bum of his shone like it was the moon to the night. To Harry's night at least. 

Once the door was shut, Niall turned around, showing off the other half of him making Harry's eyes immediately lock on his already hard member bobbing against his stomach. 

"Next time I'm making you get up." Niall said, and the blond was surprised when Harry had gotten up himself, taking off his pyjama pants and walking forward to Niall. And the blond was pushed against the door, huddled in with Harry's naked crotch against his. And Niall sighed in pleasure, finally feeling their naked bodies pressed together.

"You forgot to lock it." Harry breathed out, giving Niall a cheeky grin as he leaned forward, ghosting his lips against the blonds ear as he locked the door. And then they had started to move against each other, feeling the immense pleasure flow through them as their naked lengths rubbed against each other, both getting precum smeared against their tips. 

Harry's hands had suddenly grabbed at Niall's thighs, squeezing them roughly before hoisting the blond up, Niall curling his legs around his husbands waist and almost squealing in surprise. But he slapped a hand to his mouth, his other hand moving to wrap around Harry's neck to keep him up. 

"You wanna get fucked baby boy?" Harry growled out, and Niall gasped against Harry's lips, them kissing roughly, the blond still squished up against the door. "Tell me how bad you want it, tell me." Harry sighed out, moving his lips to Niall's throat, sucking and biting at it making Niall jump and his eyes roll to the back of his head. 

"I-I want it so bad baby. I want it so bad please. Please I've waited too long for this." Niall gasped out, taking his hands and moving them to Harry's face, making the curly lad look back up at him and kiss his lips again. 

"I know you want it bad. I do too baby boy. Come on, fuck." Harry had suddenly pushed off the door, still holding Niall's thighs as he walked to their dresser, setting the blond down on top of it. 

Were they going to fuck on every surface in celebration? Probably. And Niall's dick twitched in excitement. 

Harry's hands quickly moved along the blonds body, Niall doing the same as he squeezed at his husbands biceps and shoulders, then down Harry's chest and pinching at the mans nipples. 

Harry's hands moved to the back of Niall, pushing the blond to the edge of the dresser and making Niall spread his legs wide, hooking against Harry's waist again. They were both flush against each other, already sweaty as they breathed heavily into each others mouths, giving each other opened-mouthed kisses and light bites to their skin. 

Niall's back arched when he felt Harry's fingers against his hole, pushing against the tight ring making his eyes squeeze shut and hands grip harder on his husbands shoulders. And once his long fingers wiggled their way in, Niall was in ecstasy, moaning and groaning, body rocking into the pace of Harry's digits. And Harry just watched with a sly smile on his face, giving the blond small pecks along his throat that was on full display for him with Niall's head lulled back. 

"Please, Harry I'm ready. Baby." Niall whined, his legs were shaking, trying to close against Harry's hand but the man kept them locked around his waist. And Harry didn't stop his fingering till Niall was withering, body shaking and on the edge to explode. And when Niall let out a squeal it was the queue for him to pull out, taking the condom that he blindly settled on the side of the dresser and ripping it opened. It felt like hours went by as Niall leaned forward to watch Harry roll on the condom, pumping at his dick a couple times before grabbing at Niall's thighs again, forcing the blonds legs opened wider this time till his knees were almost touching his chest. 

Niall's hand went to grab at the back of Harry's neck, gripping at the hair there with his teeth clenched. "Come on." He growled out, and Harry slowly breached his tip into the blond, then sliding in making both of them moan loudly. 

"Fuck m-me, please." Niall could feel the sweat beading on his eyelids, building up at his brow as he breathed heavily, trying to push back against Harry's groin. And Harry seemed to stop his slow teasing, the man going straight to pounding the blond, the sound of skin slapping on skin filled the air. Niall's sweet "ah, ah, ah's" sending Harry to feel like he was on some acid trip of love. 

But when the dresser began to bang against the wall, Harry had to stop his erratic thrusts. Pulling out of the blond making Niall growl out in disappointment. But Harry slapped at his thighs, bringing the blond to his senses again and seeing his husband walk to the bed, laying himself down onto the bed, arms coming out to be a pillow for his head. Harry looked ravishing, dick still hard and wet, standing still high and straight, waiting for the blond to sit on it. And the blond was walking over, a small smile on his face as he took the chance to wipe the sweat from his eyes and lace his fingers through his damp hair. 

"Come on babe." Harry's hand came down to his groin, pumping it up and down slowly, squeezing at the tip making him bite his lip. And Niall brought that as a welcoming invitation, slowly crawling himself onto the bed, straddling his husband and slowly sinking himself back onto his dick as Harry held it still for him. 

"Oh, shit." Niall said breathlessly, immediately beginning to bounce wildly on Harry's dick, his bum slapping down against the mans tanned thighs. And he went on like that for a good couple minutes, now the bed squeaking loudly and banging up against the wall. Nothing was quiet anymore, and in the back of their minds they new they shouldn't be this loud, because they had four kids for god sakes, but they were blinded by lust. All their sexual frustration, six years of it pouring out into this night. 

"Oh my god. Harry, oh my god I'm gonna-" Niall was tugged down to be chest to chest with Harry, the mans large hands came down, grabbing roughly at Niall's pale plump bum to slam him harshly down, but kept the blond there as he fucked roughly into him, making Niall stay there with his overpowering strength.

Harry's breath was against the blonds forehead, and Niall looked up, tears of pleasure watering in his eyes as he stared into his husbands eyes. Harry was right up against his prostate, right at the sweet spot that had the blond whimpering and moaning, cum dribbling from his cock. 

"Don't use the lords name in vein, baby." Harry whispered cheekily, and Niall wanted to glare, but Harry took one last large and hard thrust, bringing the blond almost right off his dick until he was slammed back down and tip right back into his prostate. It brought Niall screaming Harry's name, mouth wide opened and eyelids fluttering closed. And Niall was just twitching on top of his husband, rocking lightly back and forth until Harry took charge again, flipping the blond onto his back to start fucking into him harshly, chasing for his own release. 

When Harry had came, he had slumped against the blond, large mane of hair all tangled up around the blond making Niall chuckle and brush his fingers along it. He then pulled it back to look at Harry who had his eyes closed, his cheekbones glistening from the sweat. And when Harry did open his eyes, he looked up straight at Niall, a small smile crawling up his lips and then pushing forward to kiss the blond softly. 

"The best feeling ever, is being with you my love." Harry sighed out, still kissing around Niall's face making the blond giggle and push his husbands head away. Harry moved off, laying down beside Niall, both of them staring up at the ceiling, Niall's hand sneaking between them to grab at Harry's hand. They squeezed each other tightly, and found themselves sleeping like that. 

 

When Niall woke up the next morning, he had decided to get up before Harry to start breakfast. Seeing how tired out his husband was still from last nights activities. And he quickly and quietly got himself out of bed, grabbing some pyjama pants and then his robe. He could hear ruckus downstairs, and smiled seeing Lawrence and Thomas listening to the radio in the living room, Virginia just laying on the couch, looking still tired with her teddy smushed to her chest. And James was watching silently beside Thomas, blinking sleepily up at Niall once he noticed the blond was in the room. 

"Daddy!" James yelled, getting up and rushing towards Niall, jumping up into the blonds arms making Niall yelp and grab for his sons bum, hoisting him up onto his hip. 

"Good morning my loves, how are you this morning?" He walked into the kitchen, Virginia following and sitting herself down at the table to watch Niall start making breakfast. When Niall had set James down, the toddler went over to sit with his little sister also, both now seated at the table watching silently. 

"What are we having today? Are we gonna be doing anything?" Virginia was kicking her legs as she sat on the chair, she looked excited, and seemed way more awake now that her daddy was. 

"Uhm, I don't know. It looks like it's gonna be a beautiful day today, so maybe a nice walk to the park might help." Niall grabbed at some eggs from the ice box, settling them down beside the stove and grabbing a pan from one of the cabinets. Virginia was cheering loudly, and James was clapping. The family all loved walks, and Niall realized it would be a really good idea to do something with the whole family. Not like the church. And besides, they wanted a walk yesterday anyways. 

"You two need to be quiet. Your father is still sleeping upstairs." Niall gave the two a look, but Virginia and James were still giggling, flickering their gazes behind the blond making Niall raise a brow in confusion. But before Niall could turn around, Harry's arms were wrapped around his waist, bringing him right up off the floor. Niall squealed in surprise, slapping playfully at his husbands biceps till Harry let him go with a chuckle. 

"Father is silly!" Virginia yelled, James still clapping his hands. And Thomas and Lawrence came rushing into the kitchen, curious to what the commotion was. 

"Good morning family." Harry said, giving Niall a little pat on the bum, rubbing at it lightly knowing it was sore. And Niall just shook his head, moving back to making breakfast as Thomas sat down and told Harry a adventurous dream he had. And then it was some full-blown conversation on who had the best dream, James saying he had dinosaurs in his, Virginia saying her and her daddies were playing tag in a meadow. And Thomas said he was fighting off bad people, and Niall couldn't help but notice Harry's face drop, but the man didn't say anything, just nodded silently. 

"Breakfast is ready." Niall turned off the stove, moving to the table and setting a big plate of eggs on the table. Harry put eggs on everyones plate, and Niall sat beside his husband after he gave everyone forks and knives. 

Once they were all settled and eating, Niall looking up after a few minutes of silence to smile around the table. Again seeing Virginia cutely struggle to put the food in her mouth without dropping it, James chewing with his mouth opened, and Thomas fisting his fork and stabbing roughly at his food to get it into his mouth. Lawrence trying to be like his fathers, sitting up straight and eating like a man. It was nice and Niall couldn't help but put his hand on Harry's knee, squeezing it lightly. 

"Did everyone sleep well? Seems like you all did with those interesting dreams." Niall chuckled out, and he looked around the table, seeing which kid would answer first. But he froze and almost had his heart fall out of his chest at the answer he got. 

"I couldn't sleep cause daddies were being too loud making love." Lawrence grumbled, and Harry dropped his fork, choking on his food lightly and having to grab for his water to wash it down. James, Thomas, and Virginia just blinked at them in confusion. 

"Lawrence Styles." Niall gasped out, leaning over the table to look at Lawrence who just blinked down at his food. The boy looked angry, and Niall felt guilt eat at him seeing his son look so upset. It was their fault, they should've been quieter with their "love-making" as Lawrence called it. And Niall seemed to forget how much Lawrence was aware of everything now. 

"What is 'love making' daddy?" Virginia asked, and Harry wiped at the corners of his mouth, the man was angry, Niall could tell. And the blond squeezed at Harry's knee again, trying to calm his husband, and definitely not wanting another scene like last nights dinner. 

"It's nothing dumpling now is everyone done with their breakfast? Almost?" Niall desperately tried to change the subject, could even feel tears coming to his eyes in pure embarrassment. He was a horrible parent, he didn't care about his own damn sons feelings. How horrible that would be to hear your parents going at it at that age. 

"I'm done." Lawrence said lowly, pushing off his chair and stomping off out of his chair. 

"Lawrence Styles, get back here!" Harry growled out, getting up out of his chair also, but Niall quickly grabbed at Harry's arm, stopping the man from going after the oldest. 

"Let him cool off love. And cool off yourself please I don't want anything like yesterday. Just help me do the dishes? Clean Virginia, James, and Thomas up?" Niall tried blinking back his tears, and Harry seemed to get worse seeing him crying. But Niall gave him a shaky smile, squeezing at his husbands hand. 

"Please?" And Harry sighed, shoulders slumping and nodding as he grabbed for all the plates and moved to the sink to wash everything up. Niall had to take a breath for himself, patting at his chest and sniffing back the tears. He was so embarrassed, terribly. 

"Babes why don't you all get ready for our walk. Yeah?" Niall looked towards the three remaining, seeing them all still look worried and confused. Virginia looking the worst seeing her daddy at the edge of crying. 

"Okay daddy." Thomas said, grabbing at Virginia's and James' hands, tugging them both out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Once they were gone, Niall let out a large breath, calming himself and shakily moving his hands through his hair. 

"How dare he, how rude." Harry grumbled, he had a scowl on his face as he cleaned the dishes, and Niall closed his eyes, trying to block that image from his eyes. He hated Harry looking so angry, like that monster, like that stranger. And the blond turned so he was looking outside into their backyard, then speaking. 

"We-we should've been more careful. We shouldn't do that again unless the kids go and sleepover at your moms house. I can't let that happen again." Niall's voice was wobbly, but he was so tired of crying. So he tried straightening himself up, puffing out his chest as he blinked away the tears. He kept his eyes trained on the bat that was still laid out on the grass from yesterday. 

"Well you started the whole thing. And we needed that, you definitely loved it last night and now all of a sudden you're regretting it?" Harry settled the dishes a little too roughly back into the sink, moving around the glare at the back of Niall's head. And Niall flinched, still trying to sound strong as he moved to face his husband. 

"Please, no fighting okay? I enjoyed it last night, I love you and I don't regret that one bit. But, our son doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve to find out those things that way." Niall sucked in his bottom lip, praying that what he said wouldn't make Harry angry.

"Well some people just have to find out the hard way. Some people just have to deal with the pain without knowing what it feels like till it happens." And there, there it was. Harry was going to his dark place again. And Niall stepped forward, having every intention to drop the subject immediately to bring his husband back into reality. Hands coming up to smooth against Harry's cheekbones, down to line around his jawline. 

"Don't live in the past." Niall breathed out, and Harry stared down at the ground for a good minute or so before he flickered his gaze up to the blond. And when he gave Niall a small smile, that was enough to make the blond slump and relax in relief. 

"Sorry. I'm so sorry baby, just-nevermind let's just get ready." Harry let go of Niall and walked out of the kitchen. Niall had to just stand in the middle of the kitchen for a couple minutes, trying to get his senses back also at what just happened. It was up and down like some rollercoaster of emotions. And Niall wondered when they were going to get off this ride and live in a neutral, peaceful life like it was before the war. 

 

It was still awkward, so awkward. Niall had kept a distance from Lawrence like a coward as they walked down the sidewalk, Harry by his side, both not touching each other in case of obvious reasons. But the curly lad would bump his hand into the blonds every once and a while. Lawrence was way ahead of them all also, walking in fast, short steps with his head down. And Thomas was cutely trying to catch up, swinging his little arms beside him, yelling out his big brothers name. 

"I want to talk to him, so badly." Niall mumbled as he gripped at Virginia's hand, not wanting the little girl to get any further ahead of him. Harry held James' also. 

"I know darling just, let him cool off like you said." Niall didn't really like Harry turning his words on him. But it was true, Lawrence was a stubborn young lad whenever it came to a fight and he seemed to confine himself till something exciting or worth his attention happened. So maybe at the park they would find something to distract the child, and then talk to him after. 

They had gotten the park a few minutes later, and Niall had slowly let go of Virginia's hand, Harry doing the same to James, the two toddlers rushing off into the grass land and giggling as they got to the park in the middle of it. Other children were playing around there also, couples sitting on benches watching or talking amongst each other. It was a peaceful morning and it looked like nothing compared to a post-war country. It looked like it's been like heaven for decades. 

"I had completely forgotten how much you thought." Harry chuckled out, shaking his head and suddenly sitting himself down onto the grass by the park, all four of the children now skittering around the playground, Thomas and Lawrence had seemed to find their own little group of friends already, the boys giggling as they tried catching each other. 

"I had a lot of time to myself these past six years. Even with the kids talking my ear off I had all night looking at that empty space beside me. If I didn't think to myself I would go insane." Niall shook his head, but gave Harry a smile after making the curly lad smile back. 

"Well I'm back now, so anything you want to talk about, I'll be here." Harry took a hand out and grabbed at the back of the blonds neck, caressing it lightly with his thumb. No one seemed to notice, it looked like a friendly gesture. But behind Harry's eyes was love and adoration, and Niall felt warm inside looking at his husband. 

"Just getting used to the extra help, getting used to our sex life and the kids growing up and learning things. I'm learning new things now that I should've known years ago." Niall shook his head, sucking in his bottom lip as he watched Virginia plop herself down in the sand, trying to dig a little moat around her. 

"Well many families are learning things. Millions of me and other men went over seas. I'm sure you barely saw a man in those six years." 

"That's true." Niall chuckled out, moving his hands out to pick at the grass, taking it out and then throwing it in front of him. The breeze caught it, drifting them onto his lap. 

They sat in a silence after that, Niall still picking at the grass, and Harry watching the playground, his curly hair floating in the breeze. Niall would side-eye his husband now and then, trying to hold back the memorized smirk that tried to curl on his lips seeing how angelic Harry looked. 

"Oh, get out of this fucking park." Niall's brows shot right up into his forehead hearing Harry's hissed voice. It was abrupt and the blond whipped his head up, furrowing his brows then to give his husband a perplexed look. 

"What's wrong love?" Niall settled a hand on Harry's knee, he didn't care about the people around him at that moment. And Harry still wasn't looking at him, his eyes were focused on something else that the blond still didn't know about, so Niall followed the mans gaze to a man standing with his wife, her holding a new born baby in her arms, little bonnet and chubby face. And the man, well he was wearing his war uniform, looking like a true soldier. 

"Wars over. He should be shimmying his ass in normal clothes for god sakes. He's making a fool of himself." Harry said through gritted teeth and Niall was trying to wrap his head around why his husband was so angry. It was a uniform, something that the men were proud to wear. It was a symbol of bravery. 

"What do you mean? That man is wearing that because he's proud of himself, and I mean he should be proud that he fought for our freedom." Niall badly wanted to grab at Harry's hand, but he knew it would take it too far since he already had a hand on the mans knee. And Niall took his hand off it once he heard Harry chuckle, and it was dark and emotionless, dripping with sarcasm. 

"No one should be proud of to wear a uniform that they killed another person in. It's like wearing your prison jumpsuit around, or the bloody shirt you had killed your whole family in. It's wrong and disgusting." Niall was worried spit would fly out of Harry's mouth at the mans words. And the blond was starting to get angry himself at the curly lads tone, how he treated the brave soldiers that saved their country. 

"If it wasn't for you, if it wasn't for that man. We'd all be dead, our kids would be dead, and we'd never get to sit here like we are right now. We'd either be in the ground or in some concentration camp along with the jews and the Russians." Niall was raising his voice, and Harry's hands were gripping the grass tightly. 

"You don't understand. And you will never understand." Harry had said that and then quickly got up, walking away from the blond and away from the playground. And Niall watched his husband go, hands still balled into fists at his sides. Two times in just the matter of hours apart, Harry's emotions were spiralling out of control into some kind of pit in hell. 

 

"Babies, we need to get ourselves home!" Niall yelled out, he had been sitting there for a good couple hours. And had found himself in his thoughts the whole time, thinking of Harry, the war, his time being alone, he thought of everything and some of it scared him, but some got him more curious. It made him itch how much he wanted to know now, what was going through Harry's mind. He wishes he could've went through the same things, just to feel and understand his poor husbands mangled personality. But then again who was he kidding? Wishes are for a healthy life and future with your children, not to experience the traumatic hell of war. 

The four kids came rushing towards him after hearing his voice, and both Virginia and James hung on his legs, giggling with sand covering their little bodies, Virginia's pretty dress now stained with brown dirt and the white fabric now looked more like a light beige. 

"Where's father?" Thomas asked, the little lad was cute wearing his paper boy hat, and it was a little dislodged on his head, making him have to strain his neck to look up at Niall. 

"He's just over there by the pond, went to go feed some duckies. But it's nearly lunch time and I think we should get home and have some sandwiches? Yeah?" Niall grabbed at James' and Virginia's hands, letting Thomas and Lawrence rush off towards Harry and stopping by the pond that the curly lad was at. Harry had been standing there for most of the time after their fight, and it just added onto the worries building up in the blond. 

"Harry, babe we should head home now. Get some food in our babies tummies." Niall poked at James's stomach, making the youngster squeal and poke back. And to Niall's relief the curly lad didn't put up a fight, or really even look mad. He just smiled at the blond, moving to take Virginia's hand and letting them walk slightly ahead, but not too far. 

Niall had concluded in his mind as they got back onto the sidewalk, heading up a slight hill towards the street where their house was on, that Harry was surely bipolar. Or something was wrong with the man, something that obviously got triggered from the war. And he couldn't help but wonder how many other poor families like his, were dealing with their husbands and fathers becoming some stranger sleeping beside them or around them. 

 

"Now this will be a test for your father, and we can see how well he does." Niall had called out once they had all gotten home, Harry raised a brow at his husband, in the middle of helping Virginia with her coat and hanging it up. 

"What kind of test?" Harry chuckled out, and let Virginia and James grab onto both of his hands, tugging him throughout the house till they got to kitchen where Niall was pulling out some bread and ingredients. 

"Your father has to guess what you all like on your sandwiches, you can give him clues. He needs to get used to taking orders from the kings and queens of this household, hm?" Niall hummed happily at the end, smiling at Harry and kissing his husband quickly on the cheek before sitting himself down at the table, watching amusingly. 

Harry stared back with confusion, and he was looking nervous staring at his children who looked giddy in their seats for food. He moved to the counter, taking orders from Virginia, little hints here and there. Then James who was giggling still ever since coming back from the park, and then Thomas who seemed to be stubborn and didn't want to give any hints. But when Harry got to Lawrence he had to admit he was nervous as he settled Thomas's sandwich in front of him, waiting for the next order. 

"I'm not hungry." Lawrence mumbled, not meeting his eyes. And Niall was staring down at his lap hearing his sons voice sound so distraught still. And Harry felt the frustration getting to him, didn't like the awkwardness that kept hanging in the air. But he quickly turned away, making himself his own sandwich and getting Niall to let him guess which ingredients the blond had on his own. 

"How did I do?" Harry sighed out, slumping into his chair and watching his family eat. Except Lawrence who had gotten up while Harry was making Niall's sandwich, and had disappeared up the stairs. 

"I would give that a four out of ten father. This is pretty nasty." Thomas wrinkled his nose, and Niall gasped, swatting at the young boy playfully. Thomas had dodged it impressively, giggling. He was cheeky, just like Harry, and it made the man have to hide his smile as he chewed on his food. 

"Be nice darling. Your father needs to get used to all this stuff still. Cut him some slack." But Thomas was still laughing, and James was yelling that Harry did just as bad. And the curly lad made a playful hurt expression, patting at his heart. 

"Hey, you guys are poo-heads! Father I love my sandwich!" Virginia was chewing with food still stuffed in her mouth. But Harry and Niall couldn't help but smile in adoration at their cute daughter. Letting the breaking of the table manners go for this time. 

"Thank you darling, I'm very happy you like it." Harry gave his daughter a smile. And then the murmur of apologizes came from around the table from the boys, Niall showing an amused grin hearing their voices and the looks of guilt on their faces. 

"After dinner why don't we relax, sit by the fire and listen to some music? We did a lot this morning and I think for the rest of the day we can rest." Niall got up from his seat, taking the empty plates and stacking them on top of each other, Harry let the blond do the dishes this time. He just sat where he was, watching his children fiddle around with each other, giggling quietly. 

They were so pure-minded, there was nothing poisoning their brains. The only things they thought about was their adventures ahead or what they would have for dinner or breakfast the next morning. But here's Harry, a man who has seen a glimpse of hell, has killed more men then he could count, and has seen brains splatter against the ground as someones head was blown off. 

His head twitched to the side at that memory, and he took in a deep breath, trying to focus on his children giggles for as long as he could until he felt arms wrapping around his neck, it was a soft touch, but he flinched anyways, and his hands bolted up, gripping the arms so tight he heard a hiss come from the person behind him. The person not being an enemy soldier, but Niall, his husband. 

"You okay love? Come on, let's get to the living room, sleep a bit till dinner yeah?" Niall had his brows furrowed seeing his husband look so detached from everything, but Harry seemed to snap out of it once he heard his blond husbands worried tone. 

Once they got to the living room, Niall fiddling with the radio till it fizzed to life, Harry had finally completely gotten out of his headspace. The kids had plopped themselves on the floor, giggling and playing with some of their toys, the fire getting started by Niall and then the blond finally moving towards the couch, settling himself down between Harry's legs and resting his head against the curly lads chest. 

"It's a weird feeling to lay my head on your chest now. Cause you used to be so fluffy and pudgy it was like a pillow. Now you're all buff and sexy and it's more like sleeping on a rock." Niall chuckled out, lacing his fingers between Harry's and settling them on his stomach. 

Harry smiled at Niall's words, blushing lightly at the compliment. Niall's words were quiet, just loud enough for the two of them to hear, and the kids were being loud and rowdy as they made car noises on the ground. 

"You don't look so bad yourself babe. I missed those broad shoulders but small little hips and legs." Harry moved a hand down to squeeze at the blonds hips, making Niall squirm against him. 

"Yeah, no matter how hard I try to work out, my twigs for legs never seem to get any thicker. It's a tragedy." Niall chuckled, but then squealed when Harry's hand looped under his legs and hoisted them up. It was like Harry was carrying the blond, but was still laying down. It made Niall squirm and grumble in embarressment, seeing that the kids were alert and looking at them.

"Daddies are being silly!" Virginia cheered, giggling and clapping her hands. She then all of a sudden rushed up, jumping onto the couple making Niall and Harry yelp in surprise at the sudden added weight against them.

"Yeah! Daddies want to play!" James was now catapulting himself onto the couch. Then Thomas had did the same, all three of their youngest children letting out squeals and screams of joy as they stacked themselves on top of their fathers.

Lawrence though, had stayed where he was, sat by the toys on the ground. He looked like he desperately wanted to join his family, but the unforgiving feeling was still a light boil in his chest. It saddened Niall and Harry also, throughout the chaos of their other children they both couldn't forget the elephant in the room. Laughing wasn't going to let Lawrence forgive and forget, they knew a chat was now definitely nesessary.

Their thoughts were side-tracked by the sound of the couch creaking loudly under the five-person weight it was holding. A sign that the piece of furniture wasn't agreeing with this certain activity.

"Alright, off off." Niall said breathlessly from laughing so hard and getting crushed to death. The three kids had all listened, scrambling off but still giggling to each other as they went back to playing with an again not-so-happy-looking Lawrence. 

"Haven't laughed that hard in awhile." Harry mumbled with a smile of amusement on his face. He had let Niall's legs go during the little dog-pile. But now had occupied his hand by settling it on the blonds hip.

Niall looked up at Harry, bringing his own pale hand to brush his knuckles along his husbands cheekbone.

"Welcome back, my love." Niall whispered, giving Harry one last smile before leaning up and stretching his neck awkwardly to kiss at Harry's lips.

 

"I think we should have pork tonight. Would you like that love?" Harry asked as he leaned against the counter and watched Niall set up the table for dinner.

"Pork? Good gosh I haven't had that in ages. I don't have any of it in the ice box either." Niall turned around from the table, looking disappointed. But Harry waltzed his way over, letting Niall hang his arms around his neck and bury his head into his chest.

"Well what about Ed? Ed Sheeran? Doesn't he still have his farm running?" Harry asked.

Niall raised a brow and shrugged, looking surprised at Harry's question. 

"You still remember him after all these years? I didn't even think of him... But again uh, I'm not sure if he went off to war or not. Or more, if he even survived." Niall hated to bring it down that path again but it was true, it was generally known that pretty much every man went off to war.

Harry's face fell the slightest bit, but Niall rubbed at his chest until he spoke again. "Well I'll have to find out, walk over there and get us some pig meat. Why don't you start up some potatoes yeah?" Harry stepped back, keeping his hands on the blonds hips and looking Niall in the eye until he nodded in agreement and walked back over to the kitchen to get everything started. 

"Oh, uh babe?" Niall whipped himself back around, grabbing at the back of Harry's t-shirt before the man could walk out of the room. The curly lad sped around, brows raised and waiting for what his husband was going to say. 

"Take Lawrence, please? He needs to learn about farm work anyway, and maybe you can talk to him about last night? Please?" Niall looked unsure, and the blond was fidgeting with his fingers in front of him. But Harry smiled, nodding and pecking Niall on the cheek before making his way towards the front door. 

"Lawrence?! Get down here buddy!" Harry called as he slipped on his boots and jacket. He heard footsteps thunk their way down the steps, and when he turned back around the oldest was standing on the last step, not meeting Harry's gaze. 

"I'm heading out to the Sheeran's farm. I want you to come along with me." Harry nodded to Lawrence's coat hung on the hanger, and the boy looked unsure, blue eyes blinking up at Harry through his eyelashes with no smile on his face. But Lawrence slowly listened to his father, moving down the last step and towards his coat, shuffling it on and then putting on his boots. 

Harry opened the door, letting Lawrence move out in front of him and down the pathway. The curly lad struggled to catch up, frowning at the way his son tried desperately to avoid him. He knew it wasn't going to be a pleasant walk. 

 

"So, uh." Harry mumbled, he was walking beside Lawrence, rocks and dust kicking up into the light breeze behind them as they walked along the side of the long deserted road. They hadn't talked for a good five minutes, and most of that time was spent with Harry desperately trying to figure out what to say to his son. 

"Why are you upset? You've been down all day." Harry sighed out, finally getting the words past his lips. He wasn't used to talking like a father, being all mature. He was a man that held a gun in his hand and spoke when spoken to, but now he had kids and a husband in his arms, the kids depending on him to say the first words. 

"I'm fine." Lawrence simply shrugged, and that wasn't surprising. Harry expected that, he himself wouldn't crack that easy if he was asked if he was okay. But with a little more persuasion he knew his son would speak up. 

"You don't look fine. Is it about your father and I?" Harry tried not to make his voice shake or his cheeks blush in embarrassment at the words he was saying, or the conversation he knew was coming. 

Lawrence sighed loudly, and he kicked at the dirt under his feet, it catching the breeze and seeping onto the road. "If you want to talk about it that badly, then yeah it's about you and dad. You guys were being annoying last night, and-and you kind of scared me with the noises you were making." Lawrence was blushing deeply, and Harry knew he was also as he quickly looked away and cleared his throat. Suddenly it was way too quiet. 

"Son we-"

"I though you hurt dad at first, so I was getting out of bed to check cause I mean, you were like a stranger since the last time I saw you and I wasn't so sure about you. But when I got closer and just actually, uh, heard you. Well then I ran back and shut my door." Lawrence was biting at the inside of his cheek, and they both didn't look at each other. But Harry stopped and settled a hand on his sons shoulder, kneeling down to Lawrence's height. He needed to assure the boy, what his oldest son has just said shook him. 

"I-I know we don't know each other much, and you're right I am a stranger to you all right now. But I want to assure you I would never touch your father, never hurt him. And I'd never hurt any of you either. I may be a stranger right now but I am going to prove to you I am the best father you could have. And what happened last night, you shouldn't have heard, and me and your father are so sorry for that and are embarrassed also. We just wanted to show our love for each other, it's been a while, you know?" Harry bit his lip, and he looked into Lawrence's eyes for answers. 

"I'm sorry too dad. I just got upset and angry and didn't think about you and fathers feelings. But uh, just promise me you won't do that again?" At Lawrence's words Harry couldn't help but chuckle, ruffling his hair and getting back up. "Of course. Promise. And uh, if you want you can call me Harry, I know it might be hard to call me your dad right now." 

Lawrence smiled at that, the first smile Harry has seen from him all day. And after that, the two kept on walking, a more skip in their steps now with the problem resolved. 

 

They turned into the Sheeran's long driveway, making their way up to the house. A woman was by the clothes line, moving the line along as she clipped wet clothes onto it to dry them. She turned when she heard their boots crunching against the dirt. 

She furrowed her brows, and didn't look sure. She must not remember Harry, and Harry sure doesn't remember her. He was even worried that this wasn't even Ed's home anymore, thinking that this woman was the new owner. But he slowly made his way up to her, Lawrence still beside him. 

"Good evening." He said, and the woman folded a dress that was in her hands and settled it back in her straw-wooven basket. 

"Good evening, uh..." She trailed off, still looking confused. But she was trying hard to register them, looking over them to try and realize who they were. 

"Harry Styles, and my son Lawrence Styles." As soon as he said his name, the woman's mouth turned up in a wide smile, and she bumped lightly at her forehead with the palm of her hand. 

"Silly me, good gosh I can't believe I didn't notice you. How could I miss those long locks? Ed showed me so many photos of you two hanging out before the war. I'm Sharon Ed's fiancé. Come on in Harry, would you like some coffee or tea?" She was making her way towards the house, but Harry stopped her with the shake of his head. 

"I uh, I was wondering if you still sold your meat from your pigs? Niall wanted me to get some for dinner." He fished through his back pocket and grabbed for his wallet, taking out a couple slips of money to show her. 

"Oh of course! Ed's actually in the back feeding the chickens right now! You can head down there and see him if you'd like." Sharon waved her hand off towards the direction Ed was, and Harry smiled in acknowledgement. 

"Thanks love, I'll catch you next time for that tea and coffee yeah?" He said as he walked towards the barn, and Sharon chuckled, nodding and waving them goodbye before moving back towards the laundry. 

"She seems nice." Lawrence said, trying to catch up with Harry's long strides. 

"He must've met her after I went off. I don't remember seeing him with her." Harry sighed out, and then they got to the barn, Harry opening the lock and using his strength to shove the large doors open. Inside was the ginger haired man, leaning on a fence with a bucket of corn in his hands as he sprinkled it over the chicken pen. 

Ed whipped his head up at the sound of the doors opening, and he squinted his eyes through the sudden light flowing into the dark barn, and he surprisingly immediately smiled seeing Harry walk into the barn. 

"Harold? Is that you mate?" Ed asked, and he started to walk over towards him, but Harry was surprised by the large limp he had, his body swaying dangerously as he struggled his way over. Lawrence's face looked slightly scared and unsure, and the boy even moved behind his father the slightest bit. 

"It is buddy. How are ya?" Harry pushed away the surprised expression he had, smiling at his friend when Ed finally stopped in front of him. The ginger lad had moved to the fence though, leaning against it and taking a breath. 

"Days could be better. But I'm just happy to be home. You look happy and healthy." Ed looked happy himself, even with the limp he was smiling widely and looking like he ate well. It wasn't surprising that the man was happy though, he had a good life around here, a nice successful farm with a new fiancé. What was bad about that?

"I am. Just came by here looking for one of your finest pig meat for dinner. I wanted to get some for the family tonight." Harry looked over his shoulder, seeing that Lawrence was staring very intently down at Ed's leg, and Harry moved his hand behind him to grab at his sons shoulder, squeezing it in comfort. 

"Having a feast are ya? A nice day to have one I have to say. Come around back I actually just slaughtered a couple this afternoon, fresh ones for you all." Ed was walking again, and he looked like he was close to falling with every step he took. 

"You need help mate?" Harry couldn't not ask that question, he hated looked at the ginger man who looked so in pain and troubled. The curly lad saw too much of that in the war, and his heart was clenching just looking at Ed. 

But Ed was shaking his head, and he kept on moving, still struggling with every step. "I'm fine. I need to get used to the new leg. It's hard having one working one but I mean it's better then being dead yeah?" Harry bit at his lip at that, and he nodded in agreement at Ed's words. But it still made a shiver go down his spine, how saddening it was. Six years ago Harry would sit with Ed on the porch of his house, both with beers in their hands. Both with two legs and cleansed minds. But look at them now, only three legs now and two broken beyond repair brains. 

They got to a small little shed, and inside was a steal table slimed with guts and blood. But hanging on a rack was a the spine of a pig, a freezer behind it where Ed opened it and pulled out a large piece of meat. 

"This ones a welcome home gift, no pay. Enjoy it mate." Ed slapped a hand on Harry's shoulder and the curly lad chuckled, moving in to give Ed a hug, holding it and squeezing his friend tightly, a silent sorry for what had happened. 

"Thank you, so much. And please, come on down for a beer again yeah? Bring your new gal also." Harry winked and Ed chuckled, rolling his eyes playfully and putting up a thumbs up. "Sure thing." He said, and then Harry was off back to the house, Lawrence right beside him. 

Once they got off the property, walking back on the side of the dirt road this time with the large piece of raw bloody meat in Harry's arms, Lawrence looked up with a frown on his face. 

"I didn't like that, he scared me." Lawrence shivered, and Harry sighed at his sons words. Because that's what everyone thought, a man with a limp, a man with a deformed face, a blind man, they all were scary and pushed away from the society. He knew it would come to be like that, men serving the country only to be shoved into the corner to be laughed and screamed at. Ed was one of those men, but he was everything but scary. 

"I promise you he isn't scary Lawrence. He looks pretty scary when he walks like that yeah, but he's the nicest man you will ever meet. Hopefully you can look past the limp." Harry looked straight ahead down the road, he could see for miles. 

"Harry, why don't you have a limp? Or look like all those men that have missing arms and legs or have weird looking faces?" Lawrence asked, and the boy didn't look fazed or realized what he was asking, and Harry had almost tripped over his feet at what his son had said. 

"I guess-I guess I'm just a lucky man." Harry sighed out, but he knew he was far from that. Because the injury wasn't in his looks, wasn't for the world to see. The injury was in his mind, inside himself like some bug inside him eating him out like a tree trunk till he was nothing. The demons didn't take his leg or deform his face, no, they possessed his soul and took over his body. 

 

"He gave you all that meat for free?! My goodness." Niall laughed breathlessly as Harry settled the large piece of meat on the table, a cloth under it so the blood didn't soak onto the table. 

"Yeah, he said it was a welcome home gift. I told him he was free to come here any time he wanted to. Have a meal with him." Harry said as he looked over the meat, and Niall walked over, wrapping his arms around Harry's bicep to look over and look at the raw meat also. 

"How nice of him, how is he by the way?" Niall asked, and Harry paused for a minute, Niall's smile falling at the hesitation. 

"He's had better days." Harry sighed out, and Niall shook his head in disappointment. 

"What happened to him? He hurt himself?" Niall mumbled so only they could hear, Lawrence was already upstairs anyways but the blond felt like he needed to make a comforting tone for his husband who looked shaken up from the situation. 

"Lost his leg. Pretty bad limp too. But he's got himself a lovely fiancé so he doesn't have it that bad." 

"Oh wow, horrible." Niall gasped at that, his eyes even teared up at that, but Harry turned towards him and pulled him in for a hug, comforting the blond who had a hand over his mouth in shock. "That's-that's, oh wow." Niall was out of breath, and kept on shaking his head into Harry's chest. They were both good friends with Ed, knowing that happened to one of their good friends pained them to their cores. 

"We just need to remember he's happy yeah? He was smiling and laughing when I was talking with him. Didn't look fazed at all by the lost leg. Remember that okay?" Harry mumbled into Niall's hair, and the blond nodded, leaning back to look into his husbands eyes. 

"Lets uh, let's get dinner going alright? Kids are getting hungry." Niall's voice was shaky, and when he tried to move away Harry grabbed at his hand and pulled the blond in for a kiss, them both laying their lips on each other for a good minute before letting go and getting everything made. 

 

Dinner was heaven for the Styles family, they barely remember the last time there was proper fresh meat on their dinner table. The last time was just before Harry left, a goodbye dinner for the curly lad. And the dinner was everything but cheerful. Niall had tears in his eyes the whole time, didn't even eat half his food and even had to excuse himself from the table to cry his eyes out in the bathroom. It didn't help that he was pregnant and filled with messy hormones. And the kids were all just young ones, not really understanding why their parents were so depressed. It was a heart breaking time. 

"Last time I had this, we were saying goodbye, now look at us, being a family again." Harry sighed out, admiring his blond husband as Niall grabbed for the finished plates and moved to the sink. All the kids had rushed off out into the backyard, screaming and burning off the steam from dinner. 

"Last time I was the saddest man in the world, now I'm the happiest." Niall skipped over after settling the plates into the sink and filling it with soapy water, jumping onto Harry's lap and plopping his bottom down across it. Harry raised his brows at the sudden movement, chuckling at the blonds sudden actions. 

"You sure look like you're the happiest." Harry mumbled, leaning forward and lightly kissing up and down the blonds neck, making Niall moan the slightest bit at the feeling. Harry was just in the middle of sucking a bruise into the blonds collarbone when Niall flinched up and rolled his eyes. 

"We can't, Lawrence and the kids." Harry laughed at Niall's words, even tipped his head back against the chair. Niall was raising a brow at his husbands out burst, almost getting off but squealing when Harry's hands squeezed at his hips and forced him back down. 

"You started it love. My beautiful husband doesn't just get to sit on my lap and not expect a little hickey for being so naughty." Harry gave Niall one last wink before the blond smacked a kiss onto his cheek and got back off him, walking to the sink to start doing the dishes. 

"Did you talk to him today?" Niall asked after a minute of silence between the two, Harry just watching the kids from the window and the only sounds being the clinking and clanking of the dishes inside the aluminum sink. 

"Lawrence? Yeah I did on the way to Ed's. A little awkward, no, a lot awkward, but we got through it and he had forgiven us." Harry sighed out, shifting in his chair to move his legs up to settle his socked feet on the chair across from him at the table. 

"Thank god." Niall mumbled, a blush appearing on his cheeks slightly. "That's just so bad what we did, so bad. Next time we need to plan and find out where the kids can stay for the night." Niall's worries had got Harry chuckling again, and the curly lad slowly got himself of the chair to move towards the blond, cheekily nudging their hips together to shove Niall lightly to the side so now they were both doing the dishes. 

"No worries love, no worries. I get what you're saying, no sex." And Niall whipped his head up at that, cupping a large bit of soap in his hands and throwing it into Harry's face making the man stumble back and choke out a laugh. 

"No sex?! No way you take that back I didn't mean that and you know that!" Niall was yelling, and had screeched when Harry grabbed his own large cup of bubbles and blew a big puff of air into it, sending the bubbles flying into Niall's face. 

"You bastard." Niall yelled out, grabbing for more bubbles but failing when Harry hooked his arm around his waist and tugged him towards him and into his chest. They were in giggle fits after that, just cuddling into each others arms in their silent house. Their children that now walk this earth as their creations playing outside, enjoying themselves. 

"Come outside and we can play with the kids before bed? Leave the dishes for now, let's just have some family time." Harry sighed out as he squeezed lightly at the blonds waist and softly dragged Niall towards the back door. It was hard for Niall to just leave the dishes, him being one to clean a place spotless in all the free time he had over the past six years, but once he saw Harry's sweet dimples peak through the corners of his mouth, the straight teeth and shining forest green eyes, well, the dishes and everything else would have to wait. 

 

For the past couple days later, Niall had been really thinking about getting a job again, maybe learning to do some sewing and get a job at the place where Margaret worked at. The women there were so kind, and he felt too useless sitting around the house and Thomas and Lawrence were going to be going to school again, he could easily take James and Virginia with him. It could work out, and it would be a benefit to the family. 

He walked out of the bathroom, moving into their shared bedroom where Harry laid on the bed under the covers already. The blond took in a deep breath, letting it out making Harry hear him and the curly man turned onto his other side to see Niall. He smiled, patting the mattress beside him, it was so welcoming and the curly lad looked so warm, Niall couldn't help but jump in, tangling his limbs into Harry's. 

They sat in a silence that lingered for a good minute, and when that minute was up in Niall's head, the blond let out a short sigh before sitting up onto his elbow, looking down at his husband who had his eyes closed. 

"I was thinking of getting a job downtown." Niall said in a whisper. He knew he probably wouldn't wake the kids up with just his voice, but he still held his precautions. 

Niall waited for a reaction, an answer, and he saw Harry's one eye open, looking at the blond through the dark for a second and then opening the other eye to fully stare at the blond. It was uncomfortable for Niall in a weird way, probably because he was so worried about what Harry would say, and now that he finally asked the man wasn't giving him anything to be relieved by. 

"Uhm, I don't know I think you should stay here ya know? Take care of the kids and such." Harry said, closing his eyes again like that would be the end of the conversation, but Niall just furrowed his brows, displeased with the answer. 

"Well Lawrence and Thomas are going to school, and I mean I could always send Virginia and James to your moms, or maybe Ed's place since we're getting to know him again? And I'm pretty sure Margaret would let me have them at the shop." Niall explained, he was slightly desperate. And he didn't like asking for Harry's permission like some slave, but he felt like now that he had his husband here with him, he needed everything to be okay with the both of them, something to create a strong bond against. 

"Who's Margaret?" Harry asked, completely ignoring the rest of Niall's explanation. 

"She's the woman that worked at that sewing shop? She made many of the kids baby clothes and even made your new jacket. She even helped me try and learn to make some clothing but I kind of dropped out of the lessons. But I want to get back into it." Niall was rambling, fidgeting with his fingers anxiously. Harry wasn't even staring at him, the man still had his eyes closed. 

"I don't remember her. Now can we go to sleep? I don't really want you working while we have all the kids still young. We need someone at home." 

Niall felt slightly insulted, so all of a sudden he is the woman of the relationship? He had to be treated like some nobody and Harry was his master? No, the blond couldn't let this slide this simply. He wanted Harry to look him in the eye and explain why he couldn't do anything.

"Harry, please look at me. I want to do this and i think it would be great for our family and it would help our money situation out. I'm not a girl having to stay home, I can do this." At Niall's words Harry opened his eyes, the man looking angry now.

"Did I say you were a girl? I just want our kids and you safe and at home. Now can we stop talking about this and go to sleep?" Harry's voice was slightly raised and Niall flinched. 

"We'll talk about this in the morning when you're less grumpy. Harry I really want this job-"

"Niall, I fucking said no." Harry growled out, him lifting himself up lightly to look at Niall with blazing green eyes. It scared Niall, and the blond flinched back, lips turning down into a frown and eyes slightly watering. 

That was the end of their conversation, and after that, Niall didn't sleep at all. 

 

In the morning, the blond had made breakfast and settled the plates on the table, the kids already settled in the seats chatting about their silly dreams and what they'll do for the day. Harry had come down a few minutes after Niall had settled the eggs on everyones plates, and the curly haired man didn't even give the blond a smooch on the cheek, just slumped himself down at the table with no smile or anything. 

Niall sat down silently beside his husband, stiffening as their arms brushed together. Harry was still mad about last night? Mad about the simplest thing? Niall just wanted a job for god sakes, but suddenly it's like the blond had asked for another child. 

"Harry, can we play baseball today? I want you to teach me so I can maybe try out on the team for school when I get back." Lawrence smiled at his father from across the table, and Niall raised a brow at how his son called his father by his first name. 

"Since when did you call your father by his first name?" Niall asked, looking over to Harry for an answer, but the man was staring at the wall in front of him, chewing slowly with no emotion. 

"Oh well I don't know I just asked him if I could, cause I'm not really used to him enough yet to call him father. So he's Harry for now." Lawrence said, also looking confused at how Harry didn't answer him. And Niall was starting to get frustrated at his husbands attitude. 

"Harry? Answer your son, he asked you a question." Niall mumbled, lightly elbowing Harry making the man tug his arm away and set his elbows on the table rudely. Elbows weren't aloud on the table, but it seems all rules were being washed away like nothing to Harry.

"Yeah, sure I'll teach you a couple moves on the field. But tonight okay?" Harry got up after that, not cleaning his plate or anything, just walking out of the room and down the hallway. Niall was fuming, and he hated seeing his kids look so worried, all staring after Harry with confused expressions. 

Niall got up, telling the kids to stay where they were and finish their breakfast. He followed Harry, moving to the front hallway where his husband stood looking out the window with his hands stuffed into his pockets. 

"What is wrong with you? Is this about last night? I just want a damn job is that so bad?" Niall hissed out, and Harry didn't even look at him, ignored him as if he was nothing. 

"I'm gonna go get some groceries. I'll be back around lunch." Harry grabbed for his boots, putting them on and then shrugging on his coat. He made no contact with the blond, and Niall was glaring at the back of his husbands head till the man was closing the door in his face. 

And he just walked back into the kitchen, having to tell his kids that everything was okay, that their father was just getting some groceries. They didn't question him of course, but they all stayed quiet throughout the house as Niall washed all the dishes, like they just knew the blond wasn't happy. 

 

Harry came bombarding into the house at around lunch time like he had said, face tough and strained as he walked throughout the house with his dirty boots on. He had the groceries in his hands at least, had did what he said he would do. 

"Babe, hey hold on." Niall had the mop in his hands, was in the middle of washing the floor when his husband decided to rush through the house, making the floors messy again. It wasn't a big deal, it really wasn't, but the blond was cleaning the floors early so he could spend time with his husband and children, to get all the chores out of the way. But now, that was pushed onto the back-burner. 

"I'm washing the floors darling, please can you take your dirty boots off?" Niall waited for an answer, Harry just standing in the middle of the hallway, not looking impressed with anything, biting the inside of his cheek. And Niall was starting to get frustrated, because he knew Harry heard him, his husband wasn't deaf, he was just deciding to not listen, like some child. Still, the man wasn't listening to him, treating him like nothing. 

"Please? Harry?" Niall had a hand on his hip, furrowing his brows in confusion at the curly haired man. And he thought he'd have to speak up again when Harry whipped around and moved back towards the front door. And it surprised Niall even more when he didn't even take off his shoes, no, Harry kept them on and just opened the front door, settling the grocery bags down on the ground and then closing the door with a loud 'slam!'

"Daddy? What was that? Is father home?" Thomas asked, rushing down the stairs with a giggling James behind him trying to grab at his belt loops. Niall was still standing in shock, mouth slightly opened trying to register what just happened. Harry had his bad days, of course, they all did, but suddenly his husband was acting like that stranger again. Someone mean, someone he didn't like. Sure they had a bad night, but Niall had already put it behind him, and Harry wasn't really known for keeping grudges. But-he hated to say it-maybe war changed the man he loved. 

Maybe it was a good thing that Harry had stormed out though. The man could cool off and relax before coming back to his home. Niall wishes he could be the one to relax his husband after a long day, but it seems Harry didn't want his help. 

"Nothing babies. Go play upstairs again, I'll get dinner started yeah?" Niall called, and Thomas' head came from around the railing of the stairs, the boy nodding and then rushing back up the stairs, James having another giggle fit as he tried catching his older brother. 

 

Harry wasn't even there for lunch, or dinner, or the two hours after that. Yes the man needed to calm down, Niall understood that, but was his day that bad that he didn't want to spend a nice dinner with his family? His anger for Niall's words from last night so bad he didn't want to even look the blond in the eye? It hurt Niall slightly, how his husband had just abandoned him alone for these long hours, no explanation, no nothing. The only thing Niall got from confronting Harry those couple hours ago, was a door slammed in his face. 

"Daddy, where's Harry? He promised we'd play baseball tonight remember?" Lawrence said, the oldest was sat at the kitchen table, chin cradled in his hands as he sat there looking bored out of his mind. The other children didn't look too happy either, they were all getting used to Harry with them twenty-four seven. But now all of a sudden he was gone and didn't even say why or where. 

Niall felt just as worried, but ten times that. He was picking at his nails with his teeth, clipping them off every minute as he stared out the window from their living room, desperately trying to see if his husband would come home. But he didn't think the worst, sure the worst thoughts were at the back of his mind, trying to eat its way to the front, but he kept things as positive as possible, all for his children. Maybe Harry had just lost his way home, had to call a cab, maybe he went to go see Ed and lost time. 

He had turned away for just a minute, consumed in his thoughts trying to pinpoint what the real answer would be. But then all of a sudden the front door was opening and then closing, the kids screaming happily and rushing down the hallway. The word "Father" leaving their mouths. 

Niall had to catch his breath for a minute when he heard all that, and he had a hand on his heart as he rushed towards the front door, stopping to watch the kids hang off Harry's arms and yell at him all at once asking where he was. And Harry didn't even look at Niall, acted like the blond wasn't even there as he laughed and passed him, letting Virginia grab onto his leg like a koala. 

"Harry? Can I talk to you please." Niall asked once his husband had gotten to the kitchen. Niall was yelling over the children, and everything seemed to die down the slightest bit when his booming voice swept over them all. And Virginia had gotten off him, feeling Niall's stress radiating throughout the air. And the kids had all walked off into the living room, James already yelling at them to play with their cars.

When it was just the two in the kitchen, Harry's face had immediately hardened, and he was looking down at the ground with no emotion once again. It bugged Niall a lot, and the blond huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"Why didn't you come home for dinner? You didn't tell me where you were, you didn't tell the kids and they were really worried about you." Niall raised his brow, waiting for the answer he was patiently waiting to hear for hours now. 

Harry shrugged. "I needed some space, had a rough day. Now can we not talk about this? I don't want to get riled up again." The curly man had rolled his eyes and even started walking away from Niall again, but the blond blocked his husband from doing so, the answer Harry had given him, not enough. 

"I'm sorry you had a bad day darling but please can we talk about it? You looked really upset and you still do and I hate seeing you like this after all you've been through. I'm here now, yeah?" Niall said softly, he had reached out to caress Harry's jawline, but the man had stepped back and turned away. That hurt the blond a lot, and he frowned moving his hand back down to his side. 

"I said I was done, please listen to me when I tell you something." Harry growled out, turning back to move out of the kitchen. 

"Excuse me? Harry I'm just trying to help, I'm trying to be a supportive husband. And if this is about last night still, you need to realize holding in all this anger for so long isn't going to help anyone." Niall was biting the inside of his cheek in anger and confusion. Harry made no sense, why was the man hiding his emotions? Their relationship was secret-free, there was nothing hidden between them. But all of a sudden Harry wanted to separate their feelings? No, Niall wasn't going to let his husband break like this, he wasn't going to watch this family collapse. 

"Well, you aren't helping. So please, leave me alone. And you're just pissing me off more by bringing up last night." Harry looked so angry, so angry that Niall wasn't so sure if he should speak anymore. But the blond decided to give it one last try, try and break through the rubble that had fallen around his partners heart, and maybe fix him up once again. This strained pain they were both feeling was so toxic and wrong for their relationship, Niall couldn't bare anymore fights. And it has only been one day. 

"Harry I can't do that we need to talk about-"

Harry's hand came whipping out of no where, and it gripped onto the blonds upper arm, pulling Niall in so tightly Niall squealed and gasped at the same time, losing his breath in disbelief at what just happened and what his loving husband was doing to him. 

"I fucking said I'm done!" Harry hissed out, baring his teeth at Niall like some dominant wolf and then letting Niall go with a shove. The blond stumbled back, his hand immediately coming out to cover the bruises already forming around his bicep. Niall had shrunken slightly in fear, wanting to crawl in some corner and curl up into the tightest ball. Because this wasn't his husband, who even was this monster that just grabbed him and inflicted bruises onto his skin?

Harry had just walked away after that, and the kids yelled and laughed as Harry walked into the living room. There was happiness just a room away from Niall Styles, but here he was feeling his life starting to crumble all around him.

**Author's Note:**

> Looks like Niall and Harry's relationship isn't going so well, and I guess Harry's promise to Lawrence while they were going to Ed's house wasn't really kept. :/ Hopefully if I get enough comments to continue, I'll get the next part up soon enough (and maybe the other boys and a few more characters will finally get introduced.)
> 
> My wattpad for more stories: Direction_Minx  
> Tumblr: Niallerar  
> 


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